A REAL RSM
Adapted by Cpl (ret) "Durty" Dan Leger

When I was a grunt the Regimental Sergeant Major was the Lord God Almighty. Nobody messed with him, not even the Commanding Officer. My Dad was an RSM in the Artillery and I wanted to be an RSM in the Infantry. However, the REAL RSM is as scarce as time off between deployments, now.

• Can cuss for ten minutes without ever repeating a word.

• Has a spine.

• Can play a Second Lieutenant like a finely tuned instrument.

• Can see in the Dark.

• Have eyes in the back of their heads.

• Still don't trust the Russians.

• Don't know how to be politically correct.

• Don't give a damn about being politically correct.

• Think that "politically correct" should fall under “sodomy".

• Love deployments because there is less paperwork and more "real" work.

• Do not fear women in the military.

• Would actually like to date G.I. Jane.

• Can tell you anything you want to know about an FN C1-A1 even though they are no longer in the inventory.

• Really don't like taking shit from those who haven't "been there."

• Know how to properly construct a field latrine.

• Don't need a GPS to find themselves.

• Have enough combats in their closet to outfit the batallion.

• Know that it's not good coffee when you can see through it.

• Don't blame poor marksmanship on their C7

• Know that shitty leaders will always say they have shitty soldiers.

Adapted from an e-mail “A REAL Sgt” attributed to SGT Roger Paradis, C Co, 29th Sig Bn

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