| NEWFOUNDLAND AND LABRADOR | "Lard Tunderin', Lamp-Lightin', J*sus" |
| NOVA SCOTIA | "Our Province is Really Hard for Grade Schoolers to Draw" |
| PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND | "Spuds? We Got Spuds Comin' Out Our Arses!" |
| NEW BRUNSWICK | "Property of K.C. Irving" |
| QUEBEC | "Grudgingly Part of Canada -- For Now" |
| ONTARIO | "As Far As We're Concerned, Canada Stops At Our Provincial Borders" |
| MANITOBA | "Uncomfortably Close to Ontario" |
| SASKATCHEWAN | "Unlike Nova Scotia, OUR Province is Really Easy for Grade Schoolers to Draw" |
| ALBERTA | "Grudgingly Part of Canada -- For Now" |
| BRITISH COLUMBIA | "Canadian Home of the Dope Smoking, Granola Munchers" |
| YUKON TERRITORIES | "Don't Forget Us When the Americans Invade" |
| NORTHWEST TERRITORIES | "You Can Ride our Black Flies" |
| NUNAVUT | "No, We Don't Live in Igloos, You Moron" |
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