- Two words: the beer
- It's almost impossible to display our flag the wrong way. (Unless you're a Marine Corps Color Guard.)
- Nobody refers to Canada as "the Great Satan". (They understand that we just happen to be his neighbour.)
- The McDonalds in the Maritimes sell lobster rolls.
- You can wear a Canadian flag in Europe and get treated like family. (Except in Paris cafes.)
- Three words: Tim Horton's Coffee.
- English and French Canadians always have somebody to blame their problems on -- each other.
- Those bike-powered ice cream vendors take Canadian Tire money.
- We let ANYBODY into our country with open arms. (Including criminals, terrorists and war criminals.)
- The MacDonalds in Quebec sell poutine.
- Most people in other countries (especially Europe) have to speak four or five languages, we only have to speak two.
- Our Prime Ministers and their families don't need elite security services. They handle their own security -- by strangling protesters or holding off would-be assassins with soapstone carvings.
- Visitors to our country always behave themselves because they know the Mounties always get their man (or woman).
- If you don't like the weather, just wait around for five minutes -- it'll change.
- No one will ever mess with us because we live next door to the world's only remaining superpower. (Unless THEY invade us, that is.)
- We understand that peacekeeping doesn't mean "bomb the shit out of them"
- You don't HAVE to join the army when we turn eighteen.
- Bill Gates is an American.
- Kids can ride the mosquitos.
- One word: Timbits!
