So now we have electropneumatic guns that can fire the amount of paint per game that we used to take all day to shoot. We have loaders that feed the balls faster either by an electric agitator or by a pneumatic assist. We have air systems that deliver reliable and constant velocities.
Do we NEED this technology? That's really for those wiser than I to decide. However, there are other areas that require the imaginative thinking of today's technomancers.
NO FOG GOGGLES
No, I mean REAL no fog goggles. In over fifteen years of experience I have found no matter what kind of lens or mask design, you're going to fog. Even today's hi-tech coated no-fog lenses will eventually wear out and start to fog. Even no-fog inserts fail.
The only thing I ever used that always worked (providing I remembered to bring extra batteries) was a goggle fan. You see the goggle fan does what no other anti-fog system does, it removes the hot, moist, condensation-laden air trapped inside the goggle. That's the ONLY way you're going to get rid of fog. Period. Even when the air is at one hundred percent humidity, goggle fans work because they keep the air moving and don't allow condensation to collect. It works the same as the defrost setting on your car's heater when your windshield fogs on cold, rainy days. All you have to do is to keep the air moving and the lens won't fog.
My first goggle fan was home made, then JT started making them. Oddly, no one else makes a goggle fan. So either I use JT goggles or I get fogging. There are a couple of masks that will mount the fan: but I think some enterprising genius out there needs to design adaptor collars so that any type of goggle system can easily fit the JT goggle fan.
HIGH TECH PUMPS
It is my belief if that you made the pumps look as sexy as some of the semis out there, more players would buy them. The Sniper is a good example. What you can do with an Autococker (machining and anodizing wise) you can do with a Sniper. I have a Spanky's Paintball Cobra body Sniper 2 and it always turns heads. I had a tourney player with an Angel remark to me, "If pumps are starting to look that good, I'm getting one!"
Right now pumps are just a single, or a collection of, cylindrical tubes. Two words: Bore ring! (Say it out loud, you'll get it.) I bet if someone made an electropneumatic pump based on the Angel, people would buy it. Why? Not because it's better, but because it's high tech and sexy. (I am in the midst of developing a pump Angel -- I'm hoping it'll be the only one in the world, but who knows?)
If we put as much thought into pump design as we did with semi design there would be more players out there actually EAGER to play pump.
SEAMLESS PAINTBALLS
Paintballs are the current limiting factor for marker accuracy. The problem is the seam. If the ball happens to start spinning, the seam will catch the air and cause the ball to curve.
Surely somebody can figure out how to make a paintball without a seam? I think paintball manufacturers have made enough money off of us that they could spend a little of their profits on research and development of a seamless paintball. I think they should stop wasting time with fancy shell combinations and fruity fill colours and try doing something that will actually IMPROVE the paintball.
NORMAL COLOURED PAINT
What the hell ever happened to orange and yellow paint? You know, YELLOW SHELL/YELLOW FILL? How are you supposed to see where the balls are going? While we're on the topic, what genius thought a black shell was a good idea. Ask the refs a Skyball 2000 how much they liked the black shells. They couldn't see the paint flying and this increased the number of times refs crossed "into the stream" as it were. A lot of players complained that refs blocked shots. No wonder.
There is also talk amongst paintball's amateur ballistics scientists that the two toned ball is far inferior to the monotone shell. Why? Different colours equals different chemical make-ups. I'm not convinced that this is really a factor. All I want is paint I can SEE when I shoot it.
Do you really think that fancy colours, shapes, designs or your team name on the shell makes it a better paintball than one that's just yellow?
STANDARDIZATION
Okay we've standardized air fittings and hoses, tank threading, M-16 grip mounting, 45 grip panels and a host of other things. How about some more standardization? How about standardization where we REALLY need it?
How about we standardize loader neck and direct feed nipple outer diameters? That way you wouldn't have to have twenty different elbows.
How about a standardized threading for barrel mounting? I would imagine aftermarket barrel manufacturers would get onto that bandwagon! Just imagine all they'd have to do is make one type of barrel and ANY marker on the market could use it. Oh heaven!
WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT OF STANDARDIZATION
Here's a really good one: How about standardized paintball outer diameters? There's the biggest load of technocrap in the industry. If there is such thing as the Great Paintball Conspiracy it's the "requirement" for different sized barrels.
See also "The Different Diameter Conspiracy" Once you've finished reading this article.
UNREASONABLE?
Am I being unreasonable? Am I asking too much? Are these things so impossible that I'm the only one who thinks of them? We're always talking about how the paintball industry pulls together and is so darned friendly and cooperative. The next time you guys and gals get your heads together, why don't you toss these ideas around? Instead of making things we can USE, why not make things we NEED?
I guess while I'm at it, I might as well wish for a million dollars and a powder blue 1959 Cadillac convertible.
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