MURPHY'S LAWS OF PAINTBALL
According to Durty Dan

INTRODUCTION

Murphy once said that, "Anything that will go wrong, will go wrong at the worst possible moment." Well I sez:

  1. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on paint or short on time.

  2. Never share a bunker with anyone braver than yourself.

  3. If discretion is the better part of valour, then retreat (or surrender) is the better part of discretion.

  4. The opposition will only attack on two occasions: when you're ready and when you're not.

  5. Make it hard for the opposition to get in, and you won't be able to get out.

  6. No matter how much stuff you carry you'll always run out.

  7. COROLLARY: You'll always need what you don't have.

  8. The amount of cover, multiplied by the amount of clear space you have for a shot, in front of you equals the chance of the opposition coming in behind you.

  9. Any plan, when detailed by the team leader will have as many different interpretations as there are players who heard it.

  10. COROLLARY: No plan survives Initial Contact.

  11. No matter how good you are, when your luck runs out, you're toast.

  12. Incoming fire has the right of way.

  13. WHen you think that no one can hide behind a particular object, that's when someone will shoot at you from that particular object.

  14. When in doubt -- hose. Sometimes there is quality in quantity.

  15. Friendly fire -- isn't.

  16. If the opposition is in range, so are you.

  17. There is always someone better, faster, younger and luckier than you.

  18. Your balls will bounce on them and their balls will break on you.

  19. When markers perform flawlessly on the target range it is no guarantee they will perform flawlessly on the field.

  20. It doesn't matter what you do right, in the end it's the team that makes the least amount of mistakes who will win.

  21. Team work: It gets the job done and gives the opposition someone else to shoot at.

  22. NEVER assume ANYTHING.

. . . As far as I am concerned, Murphy was an optimist.

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