SAVE MONEY
Do-It-Yourself Projects
INTRODUCTION
Paintball is expensive, so you want to save money. So I wrote
this article to help you. (Ain't I a swell guy?) I wrote this article for
another reason, too. You see, back in the old days (when we had to
chase the woolly mammoths and the sabertooth tigers off the field,
before we started playing) many paintballers made their own gear.
We made gravity feeds, constant air set-ups, hoppers, loaders,
pumps, you name it.
Nowadays, you don't have that opportunity for creativity and
inventiveness, and amateur airsmiths, such as myself, are slowly
running out of things they can do to their markers.
However I have come up with some things YOU can do and
bring back the original pioneering spirit of paintball!
NICKEL PLATING.
Yeah, you can do this yourself, and you don't
have to be a friggin' biochemist to do it, either. All you need is some
contact cement, a couple of popsicle sticks, and some tin foil. Use
one of the popsicle sticks to smear contact cement on the tinfoil and
the part of the marker you want to plate. Let it set, as per directions
on the can. Apply the tinfoil, using another popsicle stick to smooth
the wrinkles out of the tin foil. Voila! Nickel plating! If you want to
do something really cool, find some foil Christmas wrapping and do
multi-colour nickel plating! For those who want to change the
appearance of your marker, from time to time, just use rubber cement
instead of contact cement and you can peel the foil off easily.
SPLASH ANODIZING.
Everyone thinks this is cool. Here's a
safe, cheap and easy way to do it. First, make sure the surfaces of
the marker are clean and oil free. Get some candles of different
colours. Light the candles and let the hot wax drip in your marker,
making patterns like splash anodizing. The best thing is, if you get
tired of it, all you have to do is scrape the wax off with a cheese
grater and start all over!
HIGH PRESSURE AIR FILL STATION.
I have found a safe way to
fill your high pressure air tanks, and not have to pay some money
grubbing weasel for the privilege. I mean, air is FREE, we breath it
every day, at NO CHARGE. Why should you have to pay for
something that EVERYONE has access to, for FREE? All you need if
the proper fitting and a tire pump. I like to use a bicycle pump 'cause
they're small and compact. Compressors are a complete waste of
time, not many fields have electrical power to run them. Besides, no
one will let you use one, 'cause they're dangerous if used improperly.
Using a hand pump is safe, because it is slower and you can
regulate the pressure easily. After about 18 hours of pumping, you'll
be able to charge your tanks to about 25 psi. All the air you need,
and it's free.
MAKE YOUR OWN BARRELS.
Go to a plumbing supply store
and get 3/4 inch plumbing pipe. Copper is best, but if you can use
plastic pipes. Cut the pipe to the desired length and attach it to your
marker. If you have a threaded fitting you might have to take a
rubber hammer and really pound the pipe in there. That's why
copper is the best, I find the plastic just breaks, but the copper will
actually tear the threads off the inside of the marker for a perfect fit,
every time. You might have to use some duct tape, as well,
depending on your marker.
POWERFEEDS.
All you need a short length of copper pipe and
lots of duct tape. Cut a hole in the side of the tube and duct tape it
to the direct feed nipple. You have to use lots of duct tape as a full
200 round loader weights well over 150 pounds! Betcha didn't know
that!
BOTTOM LINE SET UP.
Don't ruin your marker by drilling holes
in your grips. Besides threads strip and loosen. Get your tank and
duct tape it to your marker. Use lots of duct tape, tanks are heavy.
It's called a 4500 pounds per square inch tank for a reason. That's
how much the tank weighs when its filled. A 4500 psi tank weighs
4500 pounds when filled. Betcha didn't know that, either!
MAKE YOUR OWN CAMMIES.
I use camouflage tape. I just get
up in the morning, put on underwear and socks and then tape up my
body with camo tape. Everyday is a different pattern and you can get
tape to match any type of terrain. At then end of the day, I just sit in
the bath tube with lots of super hot water and in seventeen hours,
the glue on the tape is almost soft enough to remove without it
tearing off my skin, very much. NOTE: If you have any body hair at
all, I suggest you shave it off BEFORE you put the tape on. The end
result is the same, but it just makes the tape easier to get off.
MAKE YOUR OWN HARNESS.
Like the cammies, I just tape the
tubes to my body, where they won't be easily hit by my opponents.
Now I REALLY have a butt pack.
VELOCITY ADJUSTERS.
Why pay big bucks for an aftermarket
velocity adjuster? All you need is a drill, a nail and a hammer. Drill a
hole in the back plug, put the nail in so that the head is on the inside
(the spring will rest against the head). Make sure the nail in there
really tight, this will make adjustments on the field difficult and
thereby making it tourney safe. To adjust velocity, just pound the
heck out of the nail with the hammer. I haven't figured out how to
reduce velocity, yet.
NO WIPE PAINT FILL.
You'll need a syringe (I use a basting
syringe) and fill it with instant epoxy. Inject the epoxy glue into each
paintball. Now shake the paintball vigorously, so the glue mixes with
the fill and seal the hole with duct tape. Now, when your ball breaks
and the guy tries to wipe, he'll get caught in the act 'cause his hand
will stick to the paint. This is really funny, too.
CONCLUSION.
Except for this part, I was JOKING. Don't do
any of this! You'll end up ruing your equipment or hurting yourself.
If you do attempt any of this, and something goes wrong: Tell your
friends what you did, if they laugh at you and call you names, don't
bother calling a lawyer. It won't stand up in court, even in this day
and age. Durty Dan assumes no
responsibility for your stupidity. Please don't do any of this. THIS
ARTICLE IS A JOKE. (Like most of my articles, come to think of it.)
What does it say about a world where you feel you have to add a disclaimer to an article like this?
All of the articles in the website "www.DURTYDAN.com" are free to use for webpages, school projects, reference and to promote paintball to players and the non-playing public. Please give
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